I have moments where I thank my lucky stars that I am an only child. I also have moments where I wish I had oodles of brothers and sisters. What does this have to do with the title of this particular post? I shall get to that, have patience.
I, obviously, am an only child...sort of. I have an older step sister and a younger step sister, neither of whom I have much contact with...not for lack of trying. Maybe it's me, maybe it's them...but that isn't the issue.
I grew up in a very quiet house. My parents worked a lot, they commuted over an hour and a half each day, each way. It was very taxing on them and I didn't appreciate the sacrifices they made for me until I was a parent myself. Of course, that is how it always is.
I was angry and lonely for a long time because I spent so much time by myself, several miles from town and away from the kids my age which halfway put me as an outsider. One quarter of the outsider-ness was because I was from 'the other side of the mountains' and the other quarter was my geeky and out-there personality. A personality that I would not change to meet the standards of most other teens.
All I wanted growing up was a brother or sister...it didn't matter if they were older or younger, or if we got along or not...I just wanted someone there to commiserate on the injustices of being a teen, someone to blame it on when something went wrong, someone to complain to about school. Those feelings have stayed with me for a very long time. Now don't get me wrong, I do not in any way, shape or form, blame my parents. Dad had his kids and mom didn't want any more after I came along and with other circumstances, it just wasn't in the cards for me to have siblings. Yes, I spent time with my step sisters but it was never time that I felt was enjoyable. As a kid, I felt left out of the activities that Dad and the girls participated in and as an adult, I see that he tried so hard to include me in those activities but since he didn't get to see J and C often, he would pay a lot of attention to them in a 2 day period. I see now that I shouldn't have felt jealous but try telling that to a kid who is stuck as a 'middle' child. *yes mom, I am over that now*
I used to see other families with lots of kids spending time together at picnics, camping trips, school functions, family outings etc...strike up a conversation with one or two kids from a big family and they will say one of two things. They will say they love spending time with the whole family or they wish they were an only. Then the conversation would ensue from the one who wishes they were an only about how great it is not to have to share the bathroom, wear the hand me downs, get beat up by the brother, ignored by the sister or not get to pick what to watch on tv or at the movies.
But I digress...
Recently a situation happened that made me realize that I may be a lucky person to be an only. An item was loaned out to a member of my husbands family. That item came back months later damaged with no acknowledgement that it was broken. Yes, that item is repairable, it's the matter of lying by omission. After finally asking outright, who had broken the item, one of them responded that they had....with no apology and no offer of monetary compensation to pay for repairs. Then come to find out from another person, that there was damage done by both of the people...again, no apology, no offer to pay for repairs. The frustration here is that if it's family, you would think that there would at LEAST be an apology...but no.
When I was growing up, if an item was borrowed, and it broke, you apologized, paid for any repairs or just replaced that item. But at least, owned up to the fact that you broke it...I find it so disheartening that the trust and truth has disappeared from a lot of family units. Especially between siblings...
And this is why I am glad I am an only.
